"wake up little sweet t," says the demonic voice!

.."the face of an alarm clock that in each minute rings for sixty seconds."
Walter Benjamin

Monday, January 13th, 1986. Victor Wilcox lies awake, the dark bedroom, waiting for his quartz alarm clock to bleep. It is set to do this at 6:45. How long he has to wait he doesn't know. He could easily find out by groping for the clock, lifting it to his line of vision, and pressing the button that illuminates the digital display. But he would rather not know. Supposeing it is only six o'clock? Or even five? It could be five. Whatever it is, he won't be able to get to sleep again. This has become a regular occurrence lately: lying awake in the dark, waiting for the alarm to bleep, worrying.
---Nice Work, David Lodge

My first year teaching I did this a lot. I used to wake up way before the alarm went off. I was so nervous about being able to handle what I was supposed to do. Handle the students, and have enough for them to do....worried about being a good teacher. I don't do this as much now. I mean wake up early. This morning the alarm went off and I hit the snooze button twice, and then turned off the alarm thinking I was awake enough in order to get up.....then an hour later.....yikes.:) However....I get up so early normally and get to school so early...I was still ready to leave by 7am....stopped to get myself coffee, and donut holes for the musical combo...teach? do i teach anymore? I think I am paid to play the violin these days...
anyway...in that hour of extra sleep I had a nightmare (I have been having lots of nightmares and bad dreams lately....along with that recurring one) and it was really freaky. I was at some camp where I had taken students with me. When I woke up one morning I was being attacked by cats. These cats would stick their claws into my body...the claws were way large, and long (way bigger than normal cat claws) and then after they were in my body half an inch or so they would fall of the cats and remain in my body. Then the cats claws would regenerate and it would begin again. I had to pull the claws out of my body...it was like pulling out shards of glass or something...and they were all over my body. yuck. How messed up is my brain?
Maybe it is all the stress I am under. Or maybe its that two important to me (and yet distant people) died this week....or perhaps the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune are headed my way....anyway...serves me right for not waking up to my alarm clock.