It's just me....little t

This is what I am talking about. Went to lunch, and I had an alright time I guess...but I was in a room of musicians....two who went to Yale and Northwestern..several from the Boston area, one from Michigan, of course my two friends that I knew went to NYU. A very nice and interesting crowd...but it is the type of crowd who only notices you if you have done something spectacular with your life. If you have lived your life outside of Oklahoma....if you can talk about how horrible living in Oklahoma is, or how much world there is going on outside of Oklahoma. It is the type of crowd where my entire resume must be dragged out in the open so that everyone can approve of me. Oh...you spent time abroad...backpacked across france and england by yourself.oh, you were the first person in history to ever receive a fulbright from UCO...oh you had to stand up and be paraded about in front of your entire graduating class during the graduation ceremony...oh you have two bachelors degrees and an MA...oh you attended Indiana University in Comparative Literature (IU is especially appetizing to musicians because of the music school there)oh you know german and french....oh you taught comp lit to freshman for a year at IU...or whatever.....it makes me so mad...because once they hear that they begin to assume certain things about you...begin to think that you are smart just because of a few things that happened to you....and I can tell. The moment a person hears the word fulbright...they treat you differently...at least a certain kind of person treats you differently. I want people to look at me and discover who I am by ME....not by some award that is on the wall. I got my masters and realized that I want to have a life. I want to find a place where I don't have to prove myself to others. Because once people hear something like this about you...then they expect things....or at least I THINK they expect things. Let me suck at trivia, and be a ditz....let me forget my glasses, and break them, lose my keys...forget my bow for my violin (yes i did this at church on sunday)...let people feel comfortable with me...quit putting me on a pedestal. I won't perform for you. I am just me. That's who I am. I love to be around people who love me as much for my flaws as my strengths... who will say gosh T, you are so messed up. And I can smile and say, you're right. They know it, and I know it.....and we move on....and go see a movie or soemthing...friends together.