If I vow to never play the violin again, would you be mad at me? Just because you are good at something doesn't mean that you have to like it. Okay...i like the violin...i like the opportunities it has given me. But sometimes I wish to play it a little less than more. Watch out. I am starting to move into my "sweet t don't take no crap" mood. I got back to school and see that even though the sub says the kids were great...they obviously had the run of the classroom. They had a blast with my copy machine (yeah, i don't get a printer for my computer but i have a huge old xerox machine...go figure) and they obviously lit the candle which is illegal, and played in the wax. (I use the candle sometimes too...i HAVE to because cat litter boy stinks up the room....but i don't let the kids play in the wax!) My blankets are strewn about...hardly any work was turned in....oh well. I am back, and they will rue the day they tried to walk over SWEET T's sub.:)
I came to school today and my box was loaded up with gifts. I like to be loved...but sometimes just trying to walk down the hall with all your gifts gets overwhelming. If I have learned anything from teaching it is that trying to hard to be somebody's friend by doing things for them, and giving them gifts is useless. I have always been a pleaser. I still I am to a large extent. But more and more I realize....help and give to people who need it, but if you are doing something just to please someone else to make them like you....it is no good. I would rather people just know where I stand and take me or leave me. (easier said than done....but i am gradually getting better and better at this)
I was so busy this weekend. I need to go to work just to rest up from my free time. :) Saturday I left my house at 8am and between then and midnight I was home for about an hour in which I used the time to clean up from my two soccer games. Yesterday I left at 8:30 and was home for about 10 minutes between then and 10pm. using that time to change clothes. So anyway...i am looking forward to this week. No responsibilities (other than the safety and well being of about 60 kids)...my evenings are free for the regular old sweet t activities....oh except for the suprise party I am planning for my mother's 60th birthday in two weeks. I have family coming in from chicago and saint louis and dallas...some of which are staying at my house. A party for 50-60 people. I am basically in charge of this party. My uncle and aunt are coming in to town early though next week to help me a little bit. At my aunt's funeral this week my mom's cousin said "see you at your birthday" and pretty much let the cat out of the bag. However, my mom is just ditzy enough (I come by it naturally) to maybe not catch on.
And here is my message to you....
Compassion removes all pretensions, just as it removes false modesty. It invites you to understand everything, to see yourself in the light of God and to joyfully tell everyone you meet that therer is NO REASON to fear!
-Henri J. M Nouwen
If we are helping someone to make someone like us....we are thinking about ourselves. If we have compassion....we not thinking about ourselves....and in fact become MORE "us" with others...we forget to put on an act, and instead just love. We learn more about them, and more about ourselves.
we begin to understand everything.
----wish i had that little lesson perfected in my own life.:):)
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