Mooshy Love Stuff

I went to see some friends of mine play this weekend. While we were waiting for them to go on one of my friends was talking to a lady he had never met before....she was asking him about all of us, and I am not sure why, but she was asking who was with whom, who was single,etc. Most of our friends are couples, and he said that, and she turned to me, and she said who are you with? And J said, she is single. She is one of the only single women in this whole place.

Feelings:
It hit me like a brick. It is only my severe sensitivity to this topic which makes this an even slightly harsh statement. But it was harsh on my ears. Every woman in this bar is wanted except for me. I am the one who is alone. The one who is not worthy to be "matched up"....feelings of anger...feelings of lifelong rejection....the wall of vunerability is tumbling, and being reinforced at the same time....

Rational Thought:
Okay. First of all I know that I was not the only single woman there that night. And secondly, I know that it isn't that I am undesirable. I am not even close to desperate. Don't believe myself to be. I believe myself to be a very cute, and adorably pleasantly plump sort of girl...one that is hard to not have some fondness for...I know that I can be likeable when I choose to be. I know that I am feminine, and lovely. I revel in my womanliness. I know that there are men that I am attracted to, and occassionally those men who are attracted to me. I get the glances..know the looks....hear the words of admiration....It's just that I haven't found my lobster yet..my life time friend..and one day I will...but until that time..yes, I am....I am waiting for you, my lobster friend, wherever you are.


p.s.
Just make sure you show up pretty soon.:) I don't want to mistake another crustacean for you, and end up with some crawdad or mudbug. (or something that appears lobster-like, but isn't you)....:) Stand up to the plate lobster. Show me what you are made of.... I know you are probably afraid of plates ...it is traditionally the place where you get eaten....the place your friends before you have gone, and your friends after you will go, never to return.....but I promise to be gentle. I am nothing if not gentle.....I am what they call a gentlewoman....whoever you are that I am writing this to..and believe me I have no idea who or where you are..you void in not so shining armor...I am waiting...