Growing Pains

You know what I hate?  I hate people leaving my life, and yet this is such a part of life.  Why?  If I knew the answers, I would tell you now.  This is that new song I told you about 20 years ago.....  Gawd, Badly Drawn Boy is a poet....man....he is a gosh near close to being a genius.  I love him.  Back to leaving....every change in my life...every step has been for the best.  I look back, and know that everything I have been through has taken me to where I am now...and that is a very good thing.  A very good thing.  But I wonder....right now...the leaving creates a hole.  It is a good thing..because the hole leaves room for something new, and something even better...but the hole hurts.  The waiting....waiting to be filled.  It's painful.  My life just keeps getting better and better.  I just become more and more happy with who I am and I think that shows....and so I am glad for the pain....glad for the choices I have made.  Glad for every little bit.  But being glad for the pain doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.  and it does.  intensely.  It isn't that you want it to stay the same, but boy howdy, the growing pains......they can make a girl want to go to the top of a hill and scream as loud as she can.....dreading and hoping at the same time that her screams will be heard.   Fearing change and wanting it at the same time.  At the same time wanting to hold on to the familiar, and looking on the horizon for the era of something new.  Growing Pains.