cause no one likes to see a pretty face

all sad and twisted up....and I don't wanna know me better.-- Clem Snide

Do you ever just get tired of yourelf? You spend so much time thinking. So much time trying to figure out what you think, what you want, and who you are, and you know you have examined the deep recesses of your brain and there is nothing left to be found.

When you first start writing your blog you are afraid that no one will want to listen--then you realize---hmmm--well, maybe they are---they bring up what you say in polite conversation--so you start to think...what I say needs to count---needs to be interesting--so you start thinking what can I say that makes an impact. Or you begin to tell stuff that really means nothing--because who knows who is listening and how they might take it--you begin to censor yourself...or you add to it--pretty soon you have an alter ego. The you in blogland, and the you in realsville are totally different creatures. Which one is telling the truth? Which one is revealing who I am?

Tonight I am on my porch again. I am being thoughtful theresa. This time of day--this kind of weather--it does it to me. It makes me feel contentment. The peace that settles in during twilight...you almost feel like that if you just looked real hard that the sky might unfold and you get a glimpse of heaven.