The Bride as Archetype

Its weird to see how people react to you differently as you move into a different type.  From "old maid" to bride.  Not that I would really call myself an old maid....but I have suddenly become something I wasn't.  A new addition to my identity.  You would think that in our 21st Century, that we would have moved beyond some of these symbolic, and mythologic meanings....these labels, and rites of passage.  But it still exists.  At least in Oklahoma.  And as exciting as all of this is for me....it is stressful to suddenly be thrown into this new identity.  I notice prejudice where I hadn't seen it before.  Not that I didn't recognize the sense of aloneness as a single...the lack of a family.  Even with the family you grew up with, there is a sense that you are different, or still alone.  People create this without even realizing it.  For example, at church on Sunday, the pastor asked us to make goals for different things, and one of them was for our family.  He didn't say your family, or.... 

But I had a friend who said they didn't know what to do at that point.  They had no "family".  They were single.  It was a completely unintentional alienation of this person from the church.

Okay.  Now look at the other side.  I have so many people coming out of the woodwork to try and take part in the joy i have been feeling in the last couple of weeks.  I know some of my sense of irritation comes from my complete exhaustion of telling people again and again the details.  And Steve feels like people are talking to him that never even noticed he existed before...I don't feel exactly like that...But well...here are some of the things I have heard.

"T's finally got a ring"  (um....i love my ring, but who cares about my RING???? Don't you want to say that T's has a man who is a wonderful man of God, and cares about her with all that he is, and all that he wants to be?????!!!!!)

or "T, I am so proud of you!"  (What?!!!  Is it some kind of accomplishment.  What is there to be proud of?  Proud that God has brought both Steve and I to the place that we are ready to love each other?...)

Oh...i could go on and on with the ignorant comments I have heard....

Then on the other side....

"Brides are so anal, and random....not to offend any brides to be here."

All of a sudden I have been put into this group...this category.  Labeled as bride, and all that goes with that.  If you have any sort of concept as to what your wedding will be like,  If you know what you want, and like and will have, then you are labeled.  The only way you get around that is to say that you don't care what you want, and let other people do everything.  Say that you can just play whatever, do whatever...break tradition...run down the isle barefoot.(j/k)...these are the only ways to get around this.  Well...i think you get the gist.

Well...just to let you know.:)  I am getting married because I love steve.  I did not wait this long to get married just to marry.  And yes, I know what I want, and with a certain amount of flexibility, I will ask for what I want, and I plan to get it.

end stop.