Last night I was taken on the best date of all time. Well.....at least in the top ten. I was already dressed up in my short velour dress and scarf because of a wedding I played (maybe Jenn will tell you about that one...the wedding) and so Steve dressed up too and took me to the art museum to see the movie Swing Time with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. There is a sense of glamour and class that these old movies contain that give me that feeling of longing...you know the one I am talking about...so sweet and so bitter at the same time. That feeling of wanting to be a part of something so badly--you are on the outside, and yet it is sweet because you at least get to have a little glance of this world...this idea. As L.M. Montgomery would say...that curtain has been drawn aside for just a brief second, and you see the world as it should be, and in fact really is....just beyond our reach. Sometimes I feel it in a song, or a movie touches on it, or a picture pefect moment in life. My warm house with christmas lights, and apple cinammon scent...Broch curled up on his suede (yes I said suede) blanket, and Lila lying at my feet, and I am reading a book....or lots of friends gathered at my house sitting around laughing, and be cozy and friendly.
There is a moment where I say, "yes...this is perfect"--and I really mean it.
These are my "pills", my therapy. I am injected at a time when I am caught most unaware, and the moment slips quickly away back to normalcy, but the warmth continues to flow through and makes me long desperately for the time when this perfection will appear once again.
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