First Day

I am known for journaling. I write emails constantly, and I write constantly, and all of a sudden I seem to have nothing to say at my first attempt at blogging. Hopefully, I will loosen up as this continues. The weekend is over. This is always a bit of a melancholy time of the week for me. Tomorrow once again I must return to school, and begin to work. Work is not so bad really...it is just at my job you really don't know what to expect each day. I think I am good at my job...but when you are dealing with highschool....at any moment the whole world can sink beneath you. On Friday, it snowed. Brillant, powdery soft snow. Snow always recalls those most delightful moments of childhood. We can put aside our cynical notions of the world if only for a moment, and think about snowmen, wondeful steep hills, and children on sleds....screaming with joy. No inhibitions. One of my students said he was going to give me a present, and came back with the largest snowball I have seen in a long time. I said thanks, but take that back outside immediately. He took it outside the classroom, but apparently thought it would be much more fun to throw it at someone else rather than take it all the way outside. He got detention for three days, and had to clean up the mess.....but really I wouldn't have it any other way. the exuberance of youth drains me, and yet gives me life at the same time. Friday night the skies were beautiful downtown. The buildings reaching up, spiraling into the sky, as the fog spirals down. Dense, and dark. Melancholy, quiet, and alone. It recalls that sweet longing that C.S. Lewis describes as Sehnsucht. A sense of longing that almost aches to be fulfilled, and yet is somehow delightful in and of itself. Sehnsucht. Perhaps my life could be described in that one little word.